BRIGHTON PIZZA GIRL.

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Gossip and Grumbles.

Bumper Christmas Limited Collectors Edition Special.

With Pizza Girl.

By the time this issue reaches you our streets and shops will be adorned with a blazing, spellblinding cacophony of festive lights. Local boulevards will be as colourful as the night runway at Gatwick. Our stores and bars wil be swamped with City shoppers out to relish the finest Christmas illuminations around. Three cheers, chestnuts by an open fire and a bottle of advocat for the vision and foresight of our local traders. Hoorah thanks and Hosannah Bongo.


Sid the Co-op charity collector now in his ninth record breaking year is looking positively dapper in his bright red Santa outfit emblazoned on the back with his slogan “working not begging”. A spokesperson for his PR agency said “Sid would like to again wish a merry Christmas to all the local people who support him.”

In an earlier column I mistakenly referred to S.O.B.S the saturated fat specialists (S.F.S.)as serving yummy organic burgers,this intelligence was given in good faith but was in fact incorrect, I apologise for any misunderstanding. Why not try one of their healthy option Doner Kebaps for your families Christmas lunch this year? Yum.

According to the P.P.P. (Peoples Parking Protest ) proposed parking plans for the West Hill Dials area (F) will mean that cars from other zones will be lining up to fill our station handy permit bays . Well maybe we should park our cars in their area and see how they like it.

Plans found in a briefcase yesterday reveal a new residential tower block for the site of the Seven Dials roundabout. The anonymous developer and her assistant Hollywood demigod Tom Cruise absolutely definitely promise the 42 storey eco modernist award winning tower will reflect the Regency style of the local area. “ For many the 172 luxury flats will be affordable buy to let housing.” Other community benefits include the lower floor containing an art gallery, a tobacconist and a wet fish shop. “This scheme is not about profit but a love for the area. Brighton’s needs modernist landmark towers everyone knows that. Some people have complained but they are wrong ” said the developers press release.
A decision will be made at a date not yet announced. Watch this space.


Now neighbouring Prestonville has banned smoking from it‘s newly fitted gastro pub. West Hill publicans and restauranteurs will be chuckleing into their bursting tills because they well know that a night out is incomplete without customers going home with rasping throats, burning lungs and the sweet odour of tabac on their clothes.


“ I’m only a passive smoker but I know that no smoking pubs and restaurants will never ever catch on.” a person predicted to me last Thursday.

Jackpot on the Celeb spotting front last month with TV’s Barry Scott the Cillit Bang degreaser man heading the list. Barry was seen pressing the flesh in Alexandra Villas. He was introducing himself to overawed locals whilst singing his cheery refrain “Hi I’m Barry Scott.”
“Good old Barry”. said an excited autograph hunter in a duffel coat. Also spotted Tommy Tinker the light bulb millionaire back from Oz. I can exclusively reveal his next move will be to Italy to share a retirement villa with “chatty” Luigi from the old Italian Shop.


Copenhagen based Gehl Architects who have been awarded the New Road development scheme contract, are thought also to be finalising the designs for the “Dials Gateway Project
“ the part pedestrianisation of Dyke Road from Clifton Road to Bath Street. Cllr Gill Mitchell the Enviro Cszar said “...It will set the standard for future street design in the City.”


Nice one Ashton’s the Chemist. Nuff said.

“Sid the Co-op” has been poached by Fiveways residents as part of their new status as an area earmarked for S.G.U. ( Special Gentrification Upgrade.) A source said “ We are without doubt undoubtedly probably the New Dials We have already persuaded the Tin Drum and Davey’s Tapas to locate here but having a charity collector the calibre of Sid with his quaint catch-phrase “spare some change” is the icing on the cake. ”An undisclosed transfer fee was involved.


The waiting list for the relocation of BBB’s ( Big Black Bins) is to reopen early in 2006.
Residents wanting a bin outside their property should apply to the Environment Department by tomorrow. “ So many residents were disappointed not to have a bin outside their homes we thought this the fairest thing to do.” we were told today. By the way what happened to the promised cleaning and disinfecting of the bins?


A tanfastic Yule to Ya’ ll .

Piazza Grill.

Nail me.

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